Investment tips for 2008


With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.


Watch for these consolidations in later this year:


1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. will merge and become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.


2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly Warner Cracker.


3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMM Good.


4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become ZipAudiDoDa .


5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor UPS and become
FedUP.


6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become
Fairwell Honeychild.


7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become
PouponPants.


8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become Knott NOW!


And finally...


9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name Titty Titty Bang Bang

Nice one PaulF: Titty Titty Bang Bang.

There is some kind of segue to the following.
Wihout asking for it I received a copy of "INVESTOR WEEKLY" December 2008.
According to page 29, a Telephone Directory Advisory Service did a comparison
of calls in 2007 & 2008.
The periods in question were between January to June of each year.

Here is an extract:

...As expected enquiries for debt collection agencies rose 67% and calls for insolvency
practitioners climbed 65%....calls for second hand shops increased 299%
But perhaps the most unexpected statistics were a jump of 469% for enquiries about Pole and Lap Dancing Outlets
and a climb in calls for hug Shops of 1,312%

I believe there are some tips here for anyone still in possession of cash.

PS. The term "Hug Shops" needs some creative thinking.
The website will not allow a certain 3 letter word beginning with "S" and ending with "x".