benthonic wrote: Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Took me a little while to get that one!

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

'For F.... sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'

In my view, this can only go into the Jokes section - obviously as why else would I put it here?

The headline and only the headline:

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-03-1 ... tocks.html

The Top Ten: Today’s Most Important Stocks

as opposed to yesterday's "The Top Ten Most Important Stocks" or tomorrow's "The Top Ten Most Important Stocks."

Kazakh medalist played Borat anthem

Kazakhstan's shooting team has demanded an apology from Kuwait after a spoof national anthem from the satirical movie Borat was played at a medal ceremony instead of the official version. The blunder took place as Maria Dmitrienko stood on top of the podium to celebrate her gold medal performance at the 10th Arab Shooting Championship in Kuwait.

But instead of the Kazakh national anthem, Dmitrienko had to listen to the song used in the 2006 smash hit film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. The film, made by British comic Sacha Baron Cohen, portrayed the country as a hotbed of backward quasi-mediaeval racists who drink horse urine and indulge in incest.

Red-faced organisers in Kuwait apologised for the embarrassing oversight before restaging the medal ceremony, this time with the correct version of the Kazakhstan anthem. Kazakhstan's foreign office told local media that they were investigating the incident to avoid any similar errors in the future.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-03-24/kasakh-medalist-played-borat-anthem/3910116

and the difference betwen Qld Labor and a Tarago

- a Tarago has more seats

Two ducks swim in a lake

and one duck says: Kwa kwa

Other duck replies: Incredible this is exactly what I was going to say.

on this auspicious day, the lisping Jedi said : May the Fourth be with you